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Faith Amidst Uncertainty

Have you ever been faced with uncertainty? Or maybe a better question is when was the last time you walked through a season of unknown?

Last spring, my husband and I were faced with a huge event that would dictate where we'd spend the next 3 years...residency. Similar to a sorority rush (not kidding), the applicant submits a ranked list of their choice of schools and the schools do the same with their applicants. The end result? The system's algorithm matches each medical student, and the school that pops up on the screen during the big reveal that is “match day”, is where you move to in 3 months.

For the longest time, I was thrilled when thinking about match day. The possibilities and potential opportunities felt endless and the thought of moving somewhere like Nashville or Denver seemed like such a fun adventure. But then match day came, and filled with anticipation, Brad and I opened the email. Much to our surprise, it read "Indiana University". A place we had never visited, where we didn't know anyone, and also didn't know much aside from general assumptions about the Midwest.

At that moment, I was devastated. The thought of leaving all comfort (job, friends, family) in Dallas, uprooting our life, and moving to an undesirable place, suddenly felt terrifying.

Throughout the match process, Brad and I prayed for God's will to be done, for him to guide us throughout the process, and for him to provide community wherever he sends us (all to which he answered!). It wasn't until the moment when "Indiana" was revealed, that we realized how closed our hearts had been to his plan.

I quickly realized that my plans for my life and God’s plans did not line up. Has that ever happened to you?

What do you do when you want one thing, but God gives you something wildly different? Ultimately, God's thoughts are not our thoughts and neither are his ways, our ways (Isaiah 55:8). We have a choice: we can complain and doubt God for having a different plan than us, OR we can believe that his plan is the best way because of his character and promises.

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Romans 12:2

When we allow God to transform the way we think through his word, our heart begins to align with God's. How sweet is this! His will for your life is good, pleasing, and perfect. Even if- it is difficult, painful, and stressful at times. I've found that there is a deep peace that takes root in my heart when I fully surrender my "ideal life" to God and trust that he will use me as a vessel for his purposes. Because all of a sudden my life begins to shift from being about me to being about serving Jesus.

My pastor Aaron Brocket, recently defined worship as "God, the answer is yes. What's the question?" Now, this is the heart of worship and obedience we should pray for!

God reveals our life as we go, one step at a time - we don't need to know all the answers just so that God can take away the 'unknown' or the 'uncertainty'. He asks us to have faith and believe that he is working for our good and for His glory.

With love,

Jaclyn Upchurch

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

2 Timothy 1:7

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